


Self Destruct Cancel

by Nataoi



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Concerned Wade Wilson, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Heavy Angst, Homeless Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rich Wade Wilson, Self-Harm, Wade Wilson Helps Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22351168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nataoi/pseuds/Nataoi
Summary: Peter was kicked out of his rented house due to not being able to keep up with rent, he had already been suffering from all the stress and depression and all the Spider-Man shit and not to mention the hundreds of scars scattered everywhere on his body. However when Wade finds out Peter had been kicked onto the streets he immediately takes him inBut what will happen when he discovers Peter's unhealthy habits.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 23
Kudos: 169





	1. Homeless

**Author's Note:**

> Please bare in mind that I'm basing a lot of Peter's depression around my personal experience with it.
> 
> Also [___] is Peter's thoughts

Peter Parker had no idea what to do... I mean what could he do? He didn't have any money. He was officially homeless. And not to mention his hundreds of scars really weren't helping.

Peter had just been kicked out of his apartment, due to him not being able to pay rent for the past 3 months, he was lucky to have even been given that long but he fucked up. Which resulted in him freezing cold, living out on the streets. It had only been two days and three nights but it was already awful. His stomach growled painfully, he really didn't want to have to eat food out of the trash but that may be his only option at this point. The young man let out a loud sigh, clutching his wrists, blood slowly trickling down into his palm. It was safe to say that he had been cutting himself a lot more then usual ever since he became homeless. It was a way for him to escape, to feel better, even if only for a few minutes. It was his release. 

Then he felt an urge to finally do it. To finally return to Spider-Man, it was the only thing to fully distract him after all, I mean he didn't even have a job anymore, and so the smaller then usual boy quickly grabbed his bag of the very small belongings that he still had and immediately rushed to the closest public bathroom. Locking himself in the stall and converting back to the hero that he had abandoned for a good 5 days. The suit didn't seem as tight, most likely due to his lack of eating over the past week. A sigh escaped his swollen lips as he pushed the mask down, covering his recent bruises, to which he had achieved from accidentally "Stealing" another homeless person's spot, and rushed out of the bathroom, only to pull himself up onto a nearby roof. 

It would be a lie to say he hadn't missed that.

The young spiderling got back to his old duties, saving as many people as he could, putting criminals in their places and of course just swinging around, finally feeling a slight sense of freedom. However it was interrupted, as Peter perched on the ledge of a rooftop he felt a familiar presence behind him, causing him to spin around to face the foul-mouthed merc. "Spidey! Been a while, I've been looking all over for that cute Spider butt but I just couldn't find you" the mercenary walked over to Peter, his arms up signalling for a hug but of course Peter stay put. 

Wade fucking Wilson. Peter will admit, not out loud, that he did actually miss the merc, after all they had a pretty similar sense of humour along with their similar suits, although they didn't often bring that up.

"Oh, hey Wade" Peter let out a flat response, trying to cover up the fact that he had been living out on the streets for around three days now, he probably stunk now that he thought about it [Of course you stink, you always stink, it would explain the lack of friends in your life] "Soooo, are you going to tell me where you've been sweetums?" and it would've been safe to say that Peter's stomach sunk, why that question? Out of all questions... It really didn't help how bad Peter was at lying either, which meant he had to be extra careful. A small cough suddenly rised in the Spider's throat as he turned his head away from the intruding man. "I-I've just been busy okay?"

[Stupid Stutter] Was all he could think at that time, suddenly being jerked from his thoughts by the sudden masked face in front of him, causing him to stumble back, nearly toppling off of the rooftop, thankfully catching himself. [Probably should've fallen, it would've worked out better for you] Peter felt himself shrink under the influence of his thoughts and Deadpool towering over him, concern lacing his features through the mask. 

"You don't sound so sure baby boy" the mercenarys voice sent shivers down his spine, an audible gulp formed from Peter's throat as he managed out another sentence "It's n-nothing Wade, it's not even a b-big deal so drop I-it" and the stutter didn't help his case at all. Wade grabbed the hero's chin, forcing Peter's eyes to look upon his mask "Pete... Don't lie to me, we've been best friends for 5 years now, I can tell when you're lying you idiot" 

[You really are an idiot, a stupid, pathetic, lying idiot, do you understand why everything goes wrong for you now?] 

Peter shuddered at the voice echoing in his head, feeling the tears sting at his eyes as they threatened to spill down his pale bruised face. Suddenly he felt a clothed hand pulling up his mask, and Peter froze, coming face to face with the scarred man who had also took off his own mask. 

"Peter... What's with the bruise?"


	2. Move In With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted my last attempt at writing this, so here I am writing this for the second time, I love AO3 but God damn I wish I could accidentally press the back button without my days work being deleted from existence. Anyways, this took ages but its here now people!

"What's with the bruise Pete?" The mercenary repeated, worry still coarsing through him as a panicked Peter stared back into his eyes. Peter was not ready to tell Deadpool, not yet at least, but it appeared he wasn't really left a choice, after all, he couldn't get away with lying to him, if he made a run for it the merc would eventually catch up to him, and honestly he needed to tell someone as much as he didn't want to. He just needed to get this over and done with.

"W-Wade...I-I-" Peter bit his tongue, it shouldn't be this hard, but he was scared, scared of the disgusted look he'll be faced with after finally admitting to the truth that he was in fact homeless. He took a deep breath preparing himself yet again. Wade was still holding the younger man, gently, by the chin as he waited patiently for Peter to tell him the truth, it was comforting to the Spiderling along with the nickname Wade would whisper every so often, which he wouldn't like to admit, but it calmed his nerves, the older male repeating it yet again "It's okay baby boy, I won't judge" that soothed him and he finally gained the courage to let it all out in one clustered mess. The worry still washing over him, preparing himself for the digsuted expression to look down upon his hopeless figure.

"I-I'm homeless... Wade... I-I- don't... C-Can't... I-I'm H-help... N-need it..." Peter could feel his voice trembling as he desperately attempted to talk through the numerous tears suddenly spilling from his puffy eyes and down past his purple, bruised cheeks, his sentences felt like a tornado had hit them, the stuttering evident as his voice had trembled around the hopeless words. Wade had understood perfectly well, releasing the boys chin and wrapping his own clothed hands around the boys slightly smaller clothed hands.

"Come live with me" those words rung through Peter's head as he stared up at the man, shock lining his features as he felt himself choke on the words "I-I'm sorry... What?" Peter questioned, Wade couldn't be serious right? I mean there was no way "You heard me, come live with me" Peter was in a heavy state of shock as he asked yet another stupid question "Why... W-Why would y--" he was cut off as Wade interrupted him, anger and concern mixing together in his deep, soothing voice. "Peter, I can't live with myself knowing that you're out there on the streets, where anyone could come along and hurt you! You don't have food or drink out there either, you do not deserve that life Peter! So please... Please just come live with me, at least until you can afford somewhere else to live orrr you can just stay permanently" Deadpool finished his rant, a smirk forming in his serious face at the last bit. 

And it caused a smile to creep upon the smaller Vigilantes features as he took a deep breath and stared back into those ocean blue eyes "Okay... Fine, you win Wade" Wade let out a fangirl-like squeel and bounced on his feet as he continued to grip Peter's hands in his own larger hands, "Let's go baby boy, you remember the way right? Just go ahead and swing us over there"  
"Heh, I got it" Peter wrapped his arm around the Mercenarys waist and let his webs carry them both away to Wade's apartment, which to mention, was very nice and modern and surprisingly clean.

Spider-Man flung them both into the room, Peter landing softly whilst Wade crumbled to the floor, his legs giving out at the not so gentle landing. "Whewww, that was definitely not as gentle as I thought it was going to be, jeez Spidey, I thought you were going to softly toss me on the bed as you slowly climbed on top of me and seduced me..." Wade commented causing the Spiderling to scowl down at him "Augh, you can't go a minute without saying something perverted" Peter folded his arms and his face twisted in disgust, however his feelings on the inside were telling a different story [It would never happen though, it's just mindless flirting, no one actually means something like that when talking to you] Peter cleared his throat and quickly looked away, he didn't want to be reminded by that thought everytime he even so much as looked at the merc. "Awe come on Spidey I was just joking!".

[See, just a joke, every single time and that's how it'll always be]

"Anyways, let's go get you to your room so you can settle in baby boy" before he could mumble out a reply the Merc had already grabbed his wrist and begun trailing him off somewhere. They were soon greeted by a room. A nice, modern, cozy room, where in the middle, attached to the cream coloured head board against the wall, lay a king-sized bed, a light blue and white duvet covering it, the blue and grew mix of pillows laying comfortably on top, as if never being moved, two bedside tables placed neatly on each side. Looking around further, at the end of the bed, placed against the wall, there is a pale blue desk, the draws a pale grey to match, a new laptop build, sat neatly in the middle, a turquoise spinning chair to match, tucked in under the desk. Further on, a walk in wardrobe sat to the side of the room, attached to the wall, just a few centimeters away from the bed, along with that a mini private bathroom sat just beside it, everything inside glistening clean. "Wade... This is amazing..." Peter breathed out gently, suprise and amazment clearly laced into his features, arising a soft chuckle from the man beside him.

"Welcome home Petey"


	3. Crimson Bathroom Tiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys it's been a while but I am back with double the angst! Yay? 
> 
> Well guys there's already been a few depressing thoughts on Peter's end but in this chapter they are a lot worse and more graphic, along with that there is also very graphic self-harming and suicide references, if you don't feel comfortable with any of that please go read something slightly happier, I don't want to trigger any of you beautiful people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also [Spoiler Alert] concerning Peter's voices (Which is not canon, I just thought this up):
> 
> Red/Demon = [___]
> 
> Blue/Devil = (___)

"Welcome home Petey"

Those words constantly echoed in Peter's head, it always made him feel slightly better, knowing Wade had been willing to take him in, give him a home, a safe place. Honestly, Peter would be lying if he said he felt like he deserved all this special treatment. But still those words, those simple yet warming words made the growing amount of cuts on Peter's arm become slightly lighter and his daily dose of self inflicted pain was decreased by double. It was slow but it was improvement, the best part of it, was that Wade had no idea about Peter's unhealthy habits. However Wade did once see a few of the scars resulting in a look of concern and the oh so dreaded "What happened to your arm?" question, however Peter managed to play it off, falsely blaming a poor innocent street cat for scratching him. Wade thankfully shrugged it off and got back to whatever he was doing, causing Peter's unhealthy coping mechanisms to continue without interruption and without having to face the unwanted pity upon his friends face.

But today... Today had been an especially bad day. You could say that J.J.J had gotten into Peter's head yet again, only this time worse then usual.

"Well you know what, I think everyone's had absolutely enough of that wretched menace, I think we can all agree on the fact that he should jump off the nearest rooftop and let himself smash onto the floor, finally ending his pathetic useless life"

After that Peter's depressive thoughts immediately began to agree with the cruel employer of his, and his day didn't get any better, along with constantly listening to people calling in, stating how much they agreed with J.J.J, Peter had also managed to sink into his own thoughts whilst trying to protect someone, that someone ended up in hospital because the "menace" that Spider-Man was, hadn't been paying attention, distracted by his own thoughts and watched blankly as the innocent bystander had been shot in the stomach.

So as Peter finished helping the innocent man onto the ambulance, he quickly swung off landing on a rooftop, crumbling to his knees and pitying himself, his patrol was officially over amd it had sucked literal ass.

[Wow, we really are a useless, pathetic menace huh?]

(Yeah tell me about it, I'm disgusted in the fact that we're still alive)

That's right, Peter had become so unstable at this point that he had developed mutiple voices in his head, it just reminded him painfully of Wade, he finally understood that man's pain. The voices were called "Red" and "Blue", or at least that's what they insisted on Peter calling them but he refused and instead refers to them as "Demon" and "Devil". Where did the voices come from? Well Peter has no idea, just a few days ago they suddenly started shouting in his head, filling in for his depressive thoughts and doing a much better job at leading him closer to ending his life. But moving back to the present, Peter was currently laying flat on his back on top of his overly comfortable bed, staring up at the plain ceiling whilst spinning his favourite "Self-torture instrument" in his bruised hands. Most likely bruised from his patrol tonight. 

[Still can't believe you let an innocent man get shot, it's no wonder why JJJ hates us, maybe we should take his advice and jump out of the window and just fall to our death, head first of course]

(No you idiot, we should land in a less fatal position so we can feel the pain that we deserve and just slowly bleed to death against the cold pavement)

[Wow, I actually agree with you for once, cmon Pete let's do this, unless you plan on ruining more lives with your cursed existence]

"Stop... Just shut up..." Peter mumbled to the voices as he tightly gripped his head with his trembling hands, having dropped the knife next to his head.

(Oh cmon it's time to torture ourselves anyway, maybe cut deeper this time while we're at it huh?)

"Fine... Just leave me alone afterwards"

[Cut deep enough and maybe we will]

And just like that, Peter was locking himself into his personal bathroom, tossing the knife between his hands. Wade wouldn't be home for another hour so he should be able to finish up by then without being caught, as always. 

Within seconds the recently sharpened, chilling blade met his already tortured wrist and the deep crimson liquid began to trickle to the floor like a waterfall out of hell. Jonah and the voices constantly edged him on as he repeated their words in his fragile brain along with the numerous reoccurring images of the lives he failed to save. Before Peter knew it his breathing had become shaky along with his whole body and he was falling...

Falling... 

Falling... 

Falling...

Until his head slammed into the cold tiled floor. 

He couldn't move. 

Or breathe. 

All he could do was blankly stare. 

The cuts on his arms running deeper then ever before. 

Well shit, he had done it this time. 

A few minutes later, after falling in and out of consciousness, he briefly made out the bathroom door being knocked down and a repetitive, desperate shout of his name.

Wade...

Wade was never supposed to see him like this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst will return, hopefully, shortly, if writer's block doesn't come after me again.


	4. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, so I've decided I'm going to try updating this Fanfic monthly, so check back every month for new updates~!

Peter slowly blinked his eyes open and was greeted by a surprising amount of sunlight. But how? He was sure he was dying earlier so how is he alive right now. Unless he really is dead, in which case this isn't what he expected. No, he's not dead, he can smell gunpowder and Mexican food surrounding him. Once he shifts his head to look to his side his suspicions are confirmed.

Right next to the bed was Wade sitting on a chair that he must have pulled out from the kitchen, glaring down at Peter, worry seeping through his facial expression and tough stance, his arms were folded across his chest and he had...

...Wade had Peter's "punishment" box that he hid away in his bedside drawer sat in his lap, the lid had been chucked away to the floor just by the end of the bed.

"Uh... Hi?" Peter whispered in a small voice, this was not what was supposed to happen. At all. 

"Hi yourself Peter, now wanna explain to me what the hell you've been doing to yourself for fuck knows how long?" the Mercenary's tone seemed calm but the anger hidden underneath the calm exterior seemed to be seeping through. 

But of course Wade would ask that straight away, I mean Peter had always managed to hide his unhealthy coping mechanisms away... From everyone. It wasn't just the question that had Peter on edge though, it was the lack of nicknames aswell. Wade always used nicknames, proving how serious Wade was right now, it felt kinda nice... To have someone worry about you, but still, Peter wasn't ready for this conversation... At all. 

"Don't worry about it Wa--" 

"How the fuck can you say that bullshit!? I found you on the verge of death bleeding out on the bathroom floor! I had to kick the door down for fuck sake! Don't you dare tell me not to worry and don't use that shitty 'I'm fine' excuse coz it's pretty fucking obvious you're not!" The calm exterior had been crushed within seconds and left Peter clearly taken back by Wade suddenly cutting him off and screaming at him... Somehow he had never realised how much Wade would care if he actually found out, well now he knows. Another reason as to why he should've been more careful he guesses. But in a way cutting so deep seemed to be worth it as the demons in his troubled mind had finally shut up for once.

"Peter... Please just... Tell me why you've been doing this..."

"Because I deserve it..." was all that the young hero could manage as urged himself not to cry. 

"No... No you don't! How can you possibly think that!? You're a hero... Heroes don't deserve the pain you're going through!" Peter couldn't think of a comeback for that so he just simply shifted his eye sight back to his bed... He couldn't take this... The fact that he had hurt Wade, made him worry... All because he needed a little pain to shut the demons up and to punish himself... He felt weak... 

"Wade... I'm sorry... You weren't supposed to see that..." 

"So you expected to just bleed out in my house and no one would notice huh?" the tone seemed venomous now but also laced with pieces of concern and worry, it was an odd combination to Peter, one he had never heard before. 

But no... No. No. He didn't mean to cut that deep. It was an accident. It wasn't on purpose. He just deserved the pain was all. Peter didn't mean to go that deep. He just wasn't paying attention. 

Wade stared at his best friend and crush in worry as the younger man began to hyperventilate. "Hey Pete? Calm down... Cmon Peter" the older man quickly wrapped his arms around Peter, trying to soothe the panic attack. "I-I-I didn't mean t-to... I-I'm s-s-sorry please h-help... S-shit..."  
"No no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that... I just want to know why... Pete why? I should've saw the signs, they were right in front of me... I'm sorry for not realising before... I swear I'm going to help you through this"  
"P-Please... I w-want help... Di-didn't mean to ups-set you... I sw-swear!"

Wade let out a soft sigh, continuing to hold the distressed man in his arms. Wade still hadn't got an answer as to why Peter thought he deserved all this pain, but now wasn't the time, he was going to ask Peter again tomorrow. That was a promise, to himself and Peter but for now the mercenary knew he had to keep a close eye on his clearly depressed crush, he was going to make Peter feel better, somehow... Even if it killed him... Wait no, that would probably make Peter even more depressed but you get the idea. 

"Peter Parker, I swear to you, I'm going to make you feel better, and that's a promise baby boy"


End file.
